Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
