i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
