Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
