i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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