I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
