We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
