Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Are we in a gay sports bar?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just got carded by a ten year old.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
