You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
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