Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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