True but thats because hes a fetus.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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