he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
