If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
farters have to be the big spoon...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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