How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
