yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize