Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Drunk is not a location!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
