haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
