There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
