just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
