You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
she looked like the before picture.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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