The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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