You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
