these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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