his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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