Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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