she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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