im six kinds of drunk right now
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
