so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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