Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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