I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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