You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
