Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
