I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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