He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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