At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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