Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
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He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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