the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
