That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize