Can Purell be used as lube?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
