Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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