what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
