So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
