i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Randomize
