Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
