So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
