I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
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I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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