I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
