I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize