Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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