names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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