i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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