yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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