she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Even my vagina gasped.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
