$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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