I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you would pick up someone in the library
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
