he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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