He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
