fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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