doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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