i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
