:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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