ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
