my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Damn victory sex feels great
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
