Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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