Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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