Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
